How to Talk to a Coach, Teacher, or Mentor About Your Teen’s Self-Harm

One of the hardest parts of parenting a teen who self-harms isn’t just navigating the private pain—it’s figuring out who else to tell and how to say it out loud.

Do you tell their teacher?
Do you talk to their youth pastor?
What about their sports coach or club leader?

It’s overwhelming, and honestly, it can feel like betrayal—like you’re exposing your child when all you want is to protect them.

But here’s the thing: support doesn’t grow in silence.

The content shared on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or your child are in crisis or need immediate help, please contact a licensed mental health professional or call/text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Why You Should Loop in Trusted Adults

Your child’s emotional well-being is impacted by their environment—and many teens spend just as much time with coaches, teachers, or mentors as they do at home. These adults often notice mood shifts, disengagement, or isolation before anyone else. If they’re aware of what’s happening, they can be more intentional with their support, respond appropriately in tough moments, and create a safe, understanding space for your child.

More importantly, it also lets your child know: They don’t have to go through this alone.

If another adult is responsible for your child’s supervision—even for a few hours a week—they deserve to know what your teen is going through.

Not to shame your child.
Not to overreact.
But to create a safe, compassionate environment wherever your teen shows up.

When you let a teacher, coach, or mentor know what’s going on:

• They’ll understand if your child seems off or withdrawn.
• They’ll be more equipped to handle visible scars or wounds with empathy.
• And they’ll be more likely to reach out to you if they sense something’s wrong.

The Hard Part: What to Say

I get it. These conversations are incredibly difficult. You don’t want to overshare. You don’t want your child to feel exposed. You don’t want to cry in front of the school secretary.

That’s why I created something just for you: A Script for Talking to a Coach, Teacher, or Mentor about your child self-harming.

Download: Script for Talking to a Coach, Teacher, or Mentor

This free printable script gives you the exact words to say—or email—when it’s time to loop in a trusted adult about your child’s self-harming.

👉 Click here to get more useful resources for you the parent!
(You’ll also receive a few follow-up tips by email to keep supporting you along the way.)

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Telling someone else what your child is going through takes courage. But it’s also one of the kindest, most protective things you can do for them.

You’re not giving up their secrets.
You’re building their safety net.

You’re doing the right thing. And I’m here to help you do it with love, clarity, and grace.